Memoirs of an Unusual Family
by Subpar226
Summary: Many families, even the most normal of normal bunny families, have that one kid. You know the one, the oddball, the strange child, that one person who everyone hears stories about. In the case of Maxwell Hargreaves, he tends to attract these stories like flies to an unwatched donut. Despite their differences, family is still family, and no amount of odd scenarios will change that.


Chapter the First: The Black Swan of the Bunch

Author's note:

Hello, the Author here. I apologize in advance if this first chapter is a bit dull. I've never written anything before so I'm a bit new. Anyway, this story is just a dumb idea I had so I'm not sure if anyone is even interested, but if you like it and have any constructive criticism I would appreciate the feedback. I'm planning on having this be more of a short intro rather than a full on chapter, so if it's interesting to you but you dislike how choppy it is, this isn't the intended format for future chapters. At least not to this extent. Hope you enjoy, and happy reading.

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Hello there, my name is Maxwell Isaac Hargreaves. I'm not entirely sure who you might be who is reading this, or even if you intended to read the story of my life in the first place. Honestly, writing all this stuff down didn't even cross my mind until it was recommended to me by somebody I know. Something about it "helping me to sort out my feelings" and "make sense of my emotions" or some mumbo jumbo. I wasn't planning on doing it even then, however I realized that some people might want to hear about all the things I've gone through given my... unique circumstances. So before I jump into introducing myself and my family to you, I just want to let you know that I understand how it feels to feel out of place. It really sucks to not seem to belong anywhere, but I'm hoping that hearing about me could help some of you. Sorry if that came out a bit gloomier than I intended. This really isn't a sad story, but all stories have their ups and downs. Sorry, I'm rambling now. I just want to say that I hope this helps. If not you than maybe somebody you know who is dealing with the same stuff. Anyway, I guess it's time for some introductions. I'll try to keep it brief

So this story mainly takes place in the growing town of Pasture Falls. It had started out as a small farming community, but then a couple businesses saw the opportunity of cheap land and a lack of jobs and built a factory and a few offices. Pretty standard stuff happened after that. People started moving in, houses got built, families expanded. All pretty much the same story you'd expect given the circumstances. However, one bizarre thing about the town is the fact that it had a population comprised completely of prey mammals. Seriously, no predators at all. The reason is a complete mystery that baffles people who visit the town without prior knowledge. There weren't any laws restricting predators from moving there so it must have been the weather, or the fact that they'd be the only non-prey mammals and might face alienation, or just that they'de be living in a town without the proper resources to fit their dietary needs or something. Either way, it's a decent enough town with the nicer perks of a big community without all the traffic and problems of a big city like Zootopia. However some people are a bit... backwards if you catch my meaning, but you'll see that soon enough.

So, now that the town is out of the way, let me introduce my family, the Hargreaves. Some of you might be wondering about the strange last name, especially for a family of bunnies, I mean, rabbits... lagomorphs? I don't know the proper name that isn't offensive or demeaning so I'll just stick with bunny. But anyway, yeah, weird name. No farming or nature themes at all like most family names. I'd go into some long complicated history if I knew it, but honestly bunnies don't really go for that sort of thing. If you want to talk about family trees and great-great-great-grandparents try a family of voles, they're all about that stuff.

First there's my father, Burt Hargreaves. (Sheesh it's weird to call him anything but Dad.) He's the youngest of three children, and pretty normal by bunny standards. He has a job, a wife, four kids, and slight paranoia about everything. He has a coat for every type of weather and watches the weather channel religiously. If there's going to be a single drop of rain he wants to know a week in advance. He started out his adult life by trying to be a mechanic in a moderately sized farming town, but when that didn't work out he moved to the town we live in, Pasture Falls. He took a job as a line worker at the local manufacturing plant called Safemorr, a place that made safety equipment and cleaning devices like vacuum cleaners and mop buckets. However, long story short, after his manager had a nervous breakdown and he was temporarily put in charge, they decided it was a good fit and he became the new floor manager. He's pretty quiet most of the time. Not shy or antisocial just... what was the word? Lycanic? Lycanthic? Laconic? I know there's a word for it but I forget now. But anyway, his whole not talking much deal kinda makes it hard for him to really be emotionally supportive, especially because he isn't the most observant person in the world, but in general he's reliable and enjoys outdoorsy things like sports and hiking. Anyway, enough about him, let's talk Mom.

After a few months in town, my Dad bumped into my mom, Diana Cropper. She's the fifth of seven kids and grew up in Pasture Falls. Her parents, my grandpa Hugh and Grandma Molly are very much used to having a very traditional rabbit family with traditional amounts of kids and such. They can be very nice, if not a bit stuck in their ways. Tradition is all fine and good but they practically worship the stuff. Anyway, when it comes to her personality, she tends to be a bit of a rollercoaster. She's pretty emotional about things that she thinks are important and doesn't mind giving people a piece of her mind. And she's very independent. She doesn't do anything just because, she does it because she wants to and that's that. All things considered she kinda fits the mom role well. She's always been OCD about keeping things clean and hygene and yadda yadda whatever. She also has a bit of an unfortunate habbit of not realizing her attempts to help come across as her nitpicking you to death. We all know that she's trying to give us some advice, but her constantly getting on you about the two specks of dust in your room when her friends are going to be coming over for cards later can be a bit much. I mean, are you all sitting on my bed to play your game? No! You all hang out downstairs drinking coffee and eating crepes. Sorry, rabbit trail.

Back to them bumping into each other. You might think I'm using figurative language, but I mean this literally as Dad accidentally rear-ended her car on the way to the store one day. Somehow, instead of yelling at each other and starting a fist-fight, they decided to get lunch while their cars got towed. They hit it off, one thing led to another, they kept going out, finally they got married. I tried asking Mom about what she did before she married Dad, but all she said was that she did boring, adult work that made her want to bang her head into a wall. Either way, after they got married they moved into a small house and spent a few years enjoying having no kids and two paychecks. However, they then decided to began trying to start their family... gross. Now I know there is a stereotype about bunnies having hundreds and hundreds of kids, but that's mainly in farming towns where there's enough room for a house that big, and you can afford that much food. My Mom decided three was the perfect number of kids for them, so after a bit of planning and waiting, they finally had my older brother Benson.

Benson, or Benny as I always called him and which he always hit me for, is what many people refer to as "overly competitive" and what I call "a guy who is nice sometimes but also a bit of an impulsive jerk." It's not that he means to be so hot-tempered or a jerk, he just tends to speak before he thinks, and acts before he thinks... honestly thinking ahead is just not his thing. Not that he's dumb, he actually has been a permanent resident of the A/B Honor Roll his whole life. How crazy that the kid that plays every sport he can due to his addiction to competition is also naturally good at school. Totally not fair, I mean, if you're going to be good at sports at least be a moron too. I swear some people have all the luck, he's good at all sorts of stuff while I am uncoordinated and have the skills of a brick. Whoops, kind of a pity party there. So yeah, it wasn't uncommon for him to get in trouble for yelling at other kids, or adults even, while he was in the heat of playing sports or video games... or even go fish one time. He definitely has a strong sense of fair play, and nothing gets him riled up more than cheaters and unfairness. He once punched a kid two years older than him with about half a foot on him in the face for cheating my sister at a game of Simon-Says. Sorry, I promised to keep this little intro brief so on to the next one.

After Benson came my sister Elizabeth, or Liz for short. She fortunately didn't inherit my brother's temper, or even his athleticism. Instead she got a double dose of brains. I can count on one paw the amount of times she got less than a perfect score on a test, and each time there were tears. She can be a little... unbalanced at times, and honestly if there's one thing she cares about more than anything, that's making friends. If her friends wanted to do something, she did it with them. This unfortunately makes her a bit thoughtless at times even if her intentions are good. Some people might be a bit judgmental because of this and call her shallow or self absorbed, but she really is a good sister even if she can be a bit snobby sometimes. Okay, last but not least is my younger sister Maddison. I know I said that my Mom wanted three kids but that didn't work out and I'll explain more later.

So Maddison, not much to say really. Six years younger than me and definitely your typical little girl. She likes all the things kids her age like. Cartoons, parties, playing games, candy. She's sweet, a little crazy, but still sweet. However she is bossier than anybody I know. She has an opinion about everything and doesn't hesitate to tell anyone. Honestly, they all drive me crazy at times. Anybody that has siblings will know that most of the time it's a bunch of yelling and fighting and being nasty to each other, and sometimes you go too far. It's not that I dislike my siblings or that they dislike me, but... you know no matter what that's going to sound bad. I would go into more detail but I'm probably boring you, and besides, you'll see more about them in future chapters. At least, if I keep writing this. (Wow, that sounds so dumb, I'm so sorry.) Long story short, it might seem like we all hate each other but I would die for these jerks and they'd do the same for me. I love them so much, even when they are a pain in the tail.

Okay, enough rambling, now it's time to go into why I'm writing in the first place. So, let's talk about me. I'd say that now is the time to slow down a bit and start from the beginning of the story. By beginning I mean one rainy spring day while Mom was grocery shopping and Dad was at work. Benson was four at the time and Liz was two. Yes, Mom planned for her to have three kids all two years apart. I mentioned she's a bit OCD right? So anyway, Mom was going about her business just shopping away when she got a call from her doctor. You see, just a few days before this she had gone in for a checkup because she'd been having pains in her guts. Turns out there was a problem with her, nothing too serious, just something that would need some medicine to treat. However, the doctor told her that it was quite possible that she couldn't have kids anymore. I'll always remember the way she explained that day to me. She told me that she was so upset that she barely managed to keep it together and not slump to her knees and started crying right there in the soup isle. Now my Mom is not a cryer by nature, or even a very easily depressed person, but she loved kids and she wanted to have another one. So over the course of about a month she did all she could to pull herself together and continued doing her best to herd her two kids and get treatment from the doctors.

Now we get to the part of the story right before I come in. One day as Dad's driving her home from the doctor's and she's sitting in the car, miserable as can be, there's a break in the trees and she sees a small building she'd never paid much attention to before. A little place called the Pasture Falls Adoption Agency. Well, as soon as she could she got a brochure about the place and slapped that sucker on the counter right in front of Dad's nose. He jumped a bit, not really used to having his coffee interrupted by pamphlets, before asking in his usual short worded way.

"Uh... what ya got?"

"Burt, I think we should adopt."

Now, Dad was understandably surprised, but he knew how much this meant to her so he didn't take much convincing. I'll spare you the weeks of paperwork and background checks and government stuff so we can jump straight to the interview.

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"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs..."

"Hargreaves, Diana Hargreaves. And this is my husband, Burt."

Burt nodded before nervously smoothing his button-down over his pudgy midsection. Was it his imagination or had he put on a few pounds since he last wore this thing. He was a stumpy guy, even for a bunny, with dark gray fur and eyes that tended to squint a little. He wasn't shy per-say, just a bit... self conscious when he was around people he saw as more educated and proper. You can take the bunny out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the bunny. Beside him stood Diana, a slightly taller creature with bright eyes and little crinkles underneath despite her less than advanced age. These laugh lines coupled with the slight pudge she'd noticed slowly developing on her waist were causing her no end of frustration. No matter what crazy diet or home remedy she tried she couldn't seem to shake her perceived imperfections, and was concerned she'd give herself silver streaks from worrying.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am Mrs. Plum, and I will be conducting your adoption interview."

Mrs Plum was a pig of rather advanced age who clearly had made an attempt to conceal said age with garish makeup and quite the mountain of white (and honestly starting to turn a little purple from medicated shampoo) hair that was piled in intricate curls and waves so stiff from hairspray that some poor fly got cut in half when she turned her head. Every little movement made her hairdo sway like a ladder held steady by a certain impatient bunny who shall remain nameless *cough* Benny *cough cough*. She adjusted her soda bottle glasses and clacked a few keys on a massively outdated computer complete with vacuum tubes and dialup.

"To begin, I see that your paperwork is all taken care of and you've been cleared for adoption, congrats, so now comes the simple part. Tell me, what type of child are you looking for?"

Diana smiled and fiddled with her purse. All the dust in this office was giving her eye a twitch.

"Oh, nothing too specific. We're mainly interested in a baby. You know, maybe a few weeks to months old? That would be ideal but we understand if there—"

"Oh! That reminds me!" Diana flinched as she was cut off. A cloud of dust rose from the desk as Mrs. Plum wheeled her chair over to an antique filing cabinet. "I got a fax earlier that apparently the orphanage over in Briddlesby has a new arrival. It's a little baby boy that's only about a few weeks old at the most. Apparently they don't have the room for it so they were planning on transferring some older children to other facilities. I really must make sure I send them the information about our own home for orphaned children."

The Hargreaves shot each other worried glances as the woman in charge of bringing them and their new child together started tottering around the room while completely ignoring them. Burt whispered to his wife,

"Did she say 'fax' as in fax machine?"

"I think she did, Hon."

There was a long and awkward silence as the old woman flipped some papers on her desk and clacked away at her keyboard. Diana whispered,

"Do you think she forgot we're here or something?"

Mrs Plum looked over and smiled.

"Hello there! I'm Mrs Plum. Is there something I can help you with today?"

Diana rubbed the bridge of her nose before plastering a smile back on.

"Yes, we're the Hargreaves. We're here for our adoption interview. Remember?"

"Why of course! So, I see that you're paperwork is in order and you cleared all the background checks and such, congratulations! Now, we just—"

Burt reluctantly stepped in before his wife could blow a blood vessel.

"Uhh, we already discussed this all over the... fax we sent. We agreed we wanted the new baby that arrived at Bridlesby. Remember?"

Mrs Plum nodded her mountainous wig.

"Ohhhhh, we did. Wait, we did? I told you about the new baby in Bridlesby?"

Diana nodded.

"Yes, we would like that child. We think he would be perfect for us. A beautiful baby boy."

"And I told you about him?"

They both nodded while voicing their approval.

"And you want him?"

More nodding.

"The new baby from Bridlesby?"

Diana rubbed her temples.

"Yes. We want the new baby that just arrived in Bridlesby. The little boy who is only a few weeks old."

"...and I told you about him?"

"Yes!"

"And you want—"

Diana clasped her hands to her eyes and took some deep breaths while whispering under her breath.

"Easy girl, it's not worth it... not... worth it."

She smiled again.

"Why don't we just put it in the computer now."

She approached the desk and joined Mrs Plum.

"Now, let's put in that I would like to adopt the new baby boy that arrived at the Bridlesby orphanage."

"And I—"

"Yes! You told me all about everything. Please just put in the request."

Mrs Plum adjusted her glasses and typed away. After a painfully long time Diana finally stepped away from the desk.

"There, thank you so much Mrs Plum."

The aged pig smiled and began to squeakily roll her chair over to the dinosaur of a fax machine occupying half of the back corner.

"You're welcome. Now, I'll just fax you over the information so you can have a copy. Then, when I get word about the baby I'll send you a message. Take care now!"

Diana turned to collect her husband and saw that he was no longer in the room. She poked her head out the door and saw him sitting on a nearby bench idly bouncing his knee while watching something off in the distance. He turned and sheepishly smiled.

"Sorry, hon. You know me, just can't stand those stuffy, dusty places. 'Sides, you had it covered."

She shook her head before pecking him on the cheek.

"I know, and that's also why I know you won't mind stopping to get coffee."

He grinned and started heading towards the car.

"As if I'd say no to coffee with you. Where did you have in mind?"

"How about that new place Cherridin was telling me about last time me and the girls met up for brunch. Apparently it's where the old trolly station was, it's called the Coffee Station."

As they drove off Diana shook her head and squinted at the outdated building.

"On the bright side, that was one heck of a lot less painful than giving birth to the other two. Although only to a certain extent. Burt, honey, how old do you think that lady was?"

"I make it a point never to answer those kinds of questions, dear."

She affectionately patted his cheek in a teasing way.

"Smart call. That'll keep you out of trouble in the future. Although, I feel a little bad about poking fun at her. She was very sweet if not a little..."

"Inept?"

"Yes! Inept. Somebody's been playing the crossword lately."

"Nope, word of the day calendar."

They drove in silence until Mrs Hargreaves piped up.

"...Who still uses a fax machine?!"

"Mrs. Plum, apparently. I hope she don't try to fax that stuff to us. Hopefully she'll forget and just call."

"Or she'll send a carrier pigeon. Possibly even fire an arrow with the letter tied to it at our doorpost."

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I'll do everyone a favor and skip the waiting and the finalizing and all the other boring stuff to legally adopt a child and move straight to the big day itself. So there the whole family (that could make it) was: Mom's parents grandpa and grandma Cropper, her sister Rose, Rose's husband Ted. Everyone was excitedly waiting for the delivery of the newest addition to the family. This was all set to be a big party with a banner and food and a cake and such. It wasn't too long before an unknown car pulled up to the house and a tall lady camel stepped out while holding a covered baby carrier. She read from a slip of paper before knocking on the window of the car. The male sheep driving the car rolled down the window before grunting,

"What?"

"Are you sure this is the right place?"

"Yeah."

"But this is clearly not right. Why would a family of... bunnies adopt this kid?"

"Beats me. Not really my place to judge."

The lady rolled her eyes and approached the house. She rung the doorbell and stood waiting. A quiet burbling sound came from the baby carrier and she quickly rocked it a few times.

"Hush now, your new parents are right in there."

Soon both Mrs. and Mr. Hargreaves opened the door and excitedly greeted the lady. Diana brushed her paws against her legs to wipe any crumbs off before opening wide the door.

"Hello, Welcome! Please come on in. We've all been waiting and are so excited about this! Please, have some snacks or soda or—"

The camel waved her hoof and set the carrier down.

"That won't be necessary, but thank you. Unless you need anything I'll just leave the baby with you and head back to Bridlesby."

She gave them all a bright smile before turning and walking out the door. The room full of rabbits excitedly approached the carrier, with four year old Benson and two year old Elizabeth peaking out from behind their mom. Diana's mother cast a suspicious look over the larger than expected carrier.

"Why's that carrier so big? You adopted a little rabbit right?"

Burt just shrugged while Diana excitedly began to lift the covering. She gently nudged the children leaning forward and whispered.

"Say hello to your new broth—eeeeeer."

She paused as she got her first glimpse of the child. There was a little yawn and a whimper as the child twitched his pointed ears and flicked his tail. Lying in the basket, deep green eyes peering out from bright white fur was a little baby timber wolf. He locked eyes with her before stretching his chubby legs out and scratching lazily at his side, tongue lolling out in canine joy. Everyone froze in shock before Grandpa Cropper grumbled.

"Is he supposed to be... that?"

There then erupted a babble of questions and accusations before the inlaws all came to the conclusion that the lady had dropped off the wrong kid and all rushed out the stop her, leaving Diana and Burt with their now three kids. Burt was pensively staring at the baby as the two children apprehensively looked to their mom for guidance, confused by the unexpected reaction from their family. Diana withdrew slightly in surprise and froze. The wolf pup had managed to knock his covers off and began to whimper slightly from the chill air. He made eye contact with Diana before reaching his paws out to her and whining pathetically. Slowly, nervously she reached out and gently stroked his fuzzy head. Immediately he latched onto her and yapped happily as she pulled the blanket back up over him. Almost immediately she warmed and, with a little effort, lifted him into her arms.

"He's... heavy! Burt, a little help please!"

"On it."

He slid a chair under her and she let the pup rest on her lap. The curious puppy looked around inquisitively at his new surroundings. Diana gently tickled him on the chin and he went cross-eyed looking at her finger before clumsily reaching for it.

"Oh, Burt, he's adorable."

Burt put his hands in his pockets and smiled.

"I take it you don't mind?"

Diana shook her head and laughed as the bundle in her arms squirmed about trying to reach her face. She leaned down and let him clasp onto her cheeks, his soft little claws poking gently at her as she kissed his cheek.

"Not at all! Why, he's a little darling! Why, this doesn't bother me at all! If anything it's a bit funny. To think, our son is a wolf!"

She glanced over at her husband, a little concerned, and asked,

"That doesn't bother you... does it Burt?"

He "harrumphed" before reaching out and tweaking the baby's ear, making him giggle.

"No, he could be a purple elephant for all I care. Don't matter in the slightest. So long as you're happy and we all give him the love he needs, it don't matter what he looks like."

Benson reached out and poked the pup with a tentative finger, eliciting a little yap.

"Is he really my new brother, Mama?"

Diana nodded and turned the baby to face his older brother.

"Yes, Ben. Meet your new baby brother."

Elizabeth peered out from behind her brother's back and spoke in a garbled mumble.

"What his name, Mommy?"

Diana shifted her newest ward and replied,

"Maxwell, after my great grandfather. Maxwell Isaac Hargreaves."

The newly named Maxwell responded by pressing up against the chest of his mother and yawning widely, showing off the beginnings of sharp little teeth. Just then the door flew back open and the extended family charged back in. Grandma Cropper breathlessly puffed.

"Could you believe the nerve of that woman, bringing a-a-a... predator into this house! As if a family of bunnies would ever adopt a predator! It doesn't make a lick of sense. I mean, there must be a mistake, or an error. We definitely can do something to send that little... thing back to wherever they found it!"

Diana shot her mother a harsh glare and rocked Maxwell.

"That 'thing' would happen to be your grandson. Mom, meet Maxwell. Say hi, Maxwell."

She turned the sleepy pup towards her and waved one of his little paws at her. Maxwell yapped excitedly before letting out another yawn. Grandma looked aghast.

"You don't intend to keep it, do you!? You'd raise a bloodthirsty predator alongside my grandbabies!"

"Correct, and this 'bloodthirsty predator' is now your newest grandbaby. And if you don't stop saying things like that I'm going to slap the rude out of you. Now if you don't mind, I think little Maxy here needs a nap."

She heaved herself to her paws and carefully made her way to the crib they had set up. It fortunately was big enough to accept to the baby that already was around the same size as their four-year-old son, and about twice as stocky. Diana grimaced at the effort it took her to lift her newest son. It wasn't terribly difficult, but she definitely felt embarrassed by how out of shape she was.

_Honestly, I might have to go hit the gym if I can't even lift the little guy as he is now. Why, by the time he's in middle school he'll probably by twice as big as I am!_

She tucked the blanket back around him before kissing his forehead. He replied with a wide yawn and a burble.

"Sleep tight, little fella. Welcome to your new home."

Once she was satisfied that he was asleep, she quietly left the room and closed the door behind her. She slowly wandered back to the living room and sighed under her breath.

"So help me Mom, if you're still whining about him I'm going to use words that aren't appropriate for the ears of my kids."  
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And there's the story of how I, Maxwell Hargreaves, came to be the only wolf in a family of bunnies. This definitely caused a few... hiccups along the way, but that is a story for another time. For now, let's leave little baby Max snoozing in his crib while everyone loses their minds. Farewell, I'll see you all next time.


End file.
